I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
