how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
