im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
