i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
