Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
