hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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