neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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