THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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