Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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