By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
