Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
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She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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