i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
