So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wish my penis had a tongue
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
me + whiskey = a bad person
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yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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