pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
