Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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