New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
