I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
