passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
