marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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