There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
