I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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