Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
