My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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