the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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