just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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