So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
