I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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