He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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