I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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