He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
