i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
