I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
