Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
