i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
