Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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