Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
