i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
