Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
