It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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