Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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