i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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