so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
