I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
