Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
