okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
