Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
being pregnant is like rehab
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize