dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize