I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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