Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i dont even know how to be here
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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