SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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