direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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