if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
