It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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