But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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