Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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