I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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