The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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