I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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